"You _____ know ____ to _______."

The stage is set for whatever environment comes to mind when you read the word, "you."

5 people (2 women, 3 men) run across the stage screaming and waving their arms.

They run the other way.

They run center, stop, look at the audience.

They scream and run upstage, destroying whatever set exits. They scurry to whatever end of the theater they can find.

Voice.
Andy, Alan, Amy, Andrea, Albatross. Please come down stage.

All.
No!

They scatter somewhere else.

Andy.
We don't -

Amy.
want to -

Andrea.
do it!

All.
We won't!

Voice.
Andy, Alan, Amy, Andrea, Albatross. Why not?

They all look at Albotross.

Albatross. He does not speak the parantheticals.
I don't (know the) words (to this) part.

The lights change. Andy and Amy begin a new scene from where they are, but their tone is reflective of the scene they speak.

Amy.
I had a great time last night.

Andy.
Me too. You were - a lot - like - felt.

Amy.
What?

Andy.
Felt. You remind me of felt.

Amy.
Pardon? I don't comprehend. How is it that I remind you - of felt?

Andy.
I don't know - but you do. It's a feeling I have. About you. And felt.

Albatross runs to the center.

Voice.
Albatross are you ready?

Albotross.
I'm not sure - Yes. I mean yes. If I say yes and mean yes then yes, I'll be ready. I'm fine. Let's go.

Voice.
Alright. Begin.

Albatross walks offstage.

Albatross. from offstage.
And then I enter.

Andrea and Alan begin to toss something breakable between themselves.

Alan.
I toss it to you.

Andrea.
And back to you!

Alan.
For you!

Andrea.
And you!

Alan.
Play. Within a play?

Andrea.
Play within a play!

Before Andrea tosses back the breakable item, Alan begins to play jacks on the floor. She throws the item and it hits the floor. Hopefully, it breaks as well. If not, Andrea picks it up and drops it while staring at Alan, who continues to play jacks until Andrea's next line. Actually, even if it breaks, Andrea should pick up a big piece and drop it again, to break it more.

Andrea.
What the fuck? That fucking fuck shit was mine! I trusted you! I fucking gave you that to catch! What the fuck are you doing?

Alan.
I thought (he gestures to the jacks) play within a play.

Andrea.
No! Not what I meant! Not what I meant at all!

Alan.
I -

Voice.
Albatross.

Albatross. (still offstage)
Yeah?

Voice.
Now, please.

Albotross.
Ok. (he runs across the stage, and yells) Diana-the-first-time-I-laid-eyes-on-you-I-

Amy and Andrea walk on stage. Andrea slumps her shoulders and looks feeble. Amy puts a finger above her upper lip and her fist in her pants.

Amy.
I want you to fly.

Andrea.
Ok.

Andrea hops.

Amy.
Longer.

Andrea.
Alright.

Andrea jumps.

Amy.
More. Higher. Faster.

Andrea attempts to accomplish this task.

Amy.
Yeah. This isn't going to work out.

Andrea.
I'm doing my best. Flying is hard your first time.

Amy removes her hand from her pants and slaps Andrea. She puts it back.

Amy.
I'll just have someone else do it. It's fine. Cross it off the list of things I'll ask you to do for me.

pause.

Amy.
Amy stands and stares at Andrea, waiting.

Andrea.
Andrea looks at Amy, with some disbelief.

Amy.
Amy looks back at Andrea. Expectantly. She might furrow her brow. The actress should remember to keep her finger above her lip to signify a mustache and her fist in her pants to signify something else.

Andrea.
Reluctantly, Andrea takes out a notepad and pen. She opens it to a page with a list on it. The list has a series of tasks one might ask another to do. She stares at the list.

Amy.
Amy continues to watch Andrea look at the list.

Andrea.
She prolongs the moment by pretending to to scan for the word "fly."

Amy.
She struggles to remain patient, but patience wins over impatience while waiting for Andrea.

Andrea.
She flips back a page and really "looks" for the word "fly." She looks up and shrugs as if to say, "Maybe it's not here? Maybe flying isn't a task on your list of things you can ask me to do. Maybe I'm not supposed to fly."

Amy.
She says, "Oh that's it!" and takes the notepad. She says, "You can't even get that?!" She crosses things off the list of things to ask Andrea to do. The actor should make sure to cross off fly first, then cross off "cross things off that Amy says to cross off regardless of completion." And she should do it, with bravado. She then finds someone new to give the list of things she can ask him or her to do to give the list to. And she gives it to him or her. Perhaps an intern. Amy then grows old and bald and unhappy.

Andrea.
Loses a little bit of faith in humanity and supervisors.

Amy.
Loses a little bit of faith in patience and people recently out of college.

Voice.
Albotross!

Albatross.
My name is spelled two different ways in the script.

All.
He wrote it frantically on the (sound of a subway)! Then he had to (sounds of a cash register, feet walking quickly, keys, a door opening) so he could (a sigh and a flush of a toilet) only to (a bottle opening and the sound of typing). Give him a break, alright?

The lights change. Albatross stays in his place and watches. The other actors walk to preset brooms, dust pans and/or garbage cans. They proceed to clean the mess from before. They do it at a normal, unhurried pace. It might be described as methodical. It could really only be methodical if the cast did it day after day, and this play is too short to be performed that much. The actors put away their cleaning tools and stay offstage. The lights change to a full wash. They run back to the stage. They say the following as if the first to finish will win ten dollars; the next: 6; the next, 3; and the last one gets punched in the back.

Andy, Alan, Amy, Andrea.
As a child I was raised to think I was special. Apart from what I knew was bullshit. I knew I was special because I knew being told I was special was bullshit. Bullshit. I did remarkably well in some classes, poorly or just ok in others. And I had my sights on what I could be. Which is a part, but not all of what you're seeing now. I know "no" meant yes, but only if I did the puzzle right. If I begged or outwitted the no, it would change. But often I opted not to do the puzzle unless it was absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely necessary or I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really wanted it and knew nobody else would feel bad if they didn't get it. Because I feel sympathy or empathy for those who lose.

They repeat the last line until all have said it together five times. They then exhale, quickly, through their mouths five times in unison and rhythm. They all fall on their backs.

Alan.
Perhaps, this thought crippled me in some ways.

Albatross.
I've met a Diana before. I don't even remember what she looks like. I'd like to pretend there was a track meet - maybe she was blond. Maybe we didn't meet. I think she lived in a trailer. That might be a different person. I don't think I'm thinking of the right person. What led to this was my childhood. As a child I -

A different voice from before interrupts him and begins reading the evening's program aloud. As Albatross tries to compete with the voice, many more voices are added and the noise gets louder. At the peak of Albatross trying to compete, the lights fade and everything stops.